Client: Auto racing themed restaurant with unique "video wall" concept

Assignment:Re-write existing copy in advertising materials describing the experience

BEFORE:
"Our feature attraction is a new video system that will make our guests feel like they're really at the track. Every twenty minutes, projection screens installed on the walls behind the restaurant booths come to life with images from past races at NASCAR tracks. It's even at the 33 degree angle of a real racetrack! Our guests will have fun trying to guess how it's done while they are enjoying their meal."

AFTER:

Imagine a place where you can satisfy your "need for speed" without settling for fast food. Imagine down-home cookin' combined with thrilling, seat-of-your-pants racing action, and clever automotive-themed décor. Imagine a restaurant the whole family can get "revved up" about! Well, you won't have to imagine much longer. If you want the excitement of a high-stakes NASCAR race, come to (name withheld).

From the moment you step into the restaurant, the roar of race car engines jolts you with a shot of pure adrenalin! On the walls behind the booths, projection screens mounted at the exact 33-degree racetrack angle rumble to life with the image of cars screeching around a NASCAR oval. This stunning technological tour de force amazes your entire family, and as our friendly hostess seats you, you're pleased to hear that every 20 minutes you'll get another chance to experience the heart-pounding excitement!

Notice how our version speaks directly to the reader. This establishes a far more personal connection.

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